The Griffin Pub

One of the mainstays of the Battle Creek Downtown scene (if there is such a thing), the Griffin sports a good drink menu and a decent food menu.  I must admit that I used to frequent the Griffin before I got married but have only been back a few times in the 7 years since that fateful day, and have not eaten there for over 2 years. 

I ended up going with an item that I had not tried and an item I've had before.  The new item I tried was the Texas Chili Burger.  Served open-face, it is a burger on Texas toast, covered in chili and fried onion-strings.  I ordered the basked with fries and coleslaw.  I also ordered a bowl of Pepper-Jack potato soup, which is the item I've had before.  The soup was good, but different from what I remember of it.  The coleslaw was great, some of the best I've had.  The burger and fries were not even mediocre.  The fries are your basic frozen crinkle fries and tasted a bit overdone to me.  The chili on the burger was ok, but I would have been better eating chili by itself.  The burger meat was meh, and the Texas toast absorbed all the juices making it a spongy mess.  The flavors just didn’t seem to meld together well.  Food was 2 stars out of 5.

Regarding service.  Our waitress was pretty bad.  She couldn't remember who had what, including drinks, appetizers and main dishes.  I had asked her for ranch dressing when I ordered my food but she forgot to bring it out.  Then she brings out 2 cups of ranch, however one turned out to be tartar sauce.  Additionally, she was no Suzie-on-the-spot with the refills, which is important to me.  Finally, she screwed up and charged me for a pop when all I had was water.  Service was 1.5 stars out of 5. 

Overall rating was 1.75 stars out of 5.  Sadly, I have fonder memories of the Griffin than this and I don't anticipate returning there for a long time again.

TFOT

Being one of the mainstays in downtown area I must admit that I was pretty excited about trying their food.  I had only been to the Griffin one time and we were there for a sporting event, and did not try their food.  We sat ourselves and our waitress took our drink order.  I noted a lot of the décor was basic bar, but was impressed with the amount of Big Screen TV’s even though 4 of the 5 I could see were on various new stations when we could have been watching the British Open.

The server started off pretty good and even cracked a “no soup for you” joke.  Unfortunately that was the highlight of her day.  She was never around, and did a horrible job at keeping drinks full.  The Griffin has a list of daily specials, and I inquired about the Texas Turkey Burger and what was on it.  Her response”well, it is a burger, so lettuce and tomato.”  REALLY!?!?!  That is what you got?  Please tell me it is not the turkey meat that makes it “Texas”!!!!!  She had no food knowledge, and had no idea what was on the special list, as I observed her several times reading it to her customer’s off the wall.  Please, this is your occupation, make and effort!  As we were leaving we figured out why we could never find her.  She was bellied up to the bar facing the patrons eating her lunch…both plates.  Service was borderline worse we have seen.  And another thing about the pure professionalism of the establishment, our waitress was wearing a pink Aeropostale shirt, and none of the waitresses wore any sort of uniform, but they had a display cabinet for selling their own t-shirts.  Here’s a thought, make your waitresses promote your t-shirts, or at least make them look presentable.  I am still wondering if our waitress worked their or was simply a patron with a pad of paper. SERVICE 1.25 stars.

I started off my meal with one of their specialties Pepper Jack potato soup.  The flavor was good, but again I was left disappointed.  The pieces of potato varied in size, and although some were cooked perfectly others had to be quartered to make them bit size, and were crunchy because if it.  Sadly, it came up short.  The coleslaw was very good.  It was perfectly seasoned and had great sweet flavor right up to the point that I bit on a piece of hard plastic.  I was completely turned off be the experience, and had to flag down another waitress to complain…..as ours once again was no where to be found.  To the waitresses credit(the one I flagged down) she did offer to replace the coleslaw with more or even something else, but at that point is was too late.

For my entre I found myself ordering a club.  The Michigan Ave Club is made on “grilled folded ciabatta wrap.”   The sandwich was ok, but the bun was far from a ciabatta and they should be crusty or at least have some toughness to the exterior.  The bun (not wrap) was sliced in half, and was ok.  It had a floury / gritty taste to the bread.  The bacon did have a slight smoke to it, and was good.  The rest was your basic hard to screw up sandwich that required little to no effort to put together.  Yeah, I know I need to start digging a little deeper into the food, but I have been severely disappointed too many times lately, that I am scared to try something that had to be cooked for fear of a food born illness.  The fries were your basic from the store crinkle cut that were not seasoned and were very dry. All in all, I would count this a very disappointing trip that will not be made again.  FOOD 2 stars

OVERALL 1.5 stars

~TFM~

The Apple Core

Again, with the long drives.  Apparently we Fatties are trying to spread our wings and fly….stupid gravity.  Today’s we went to The Apple Core in Urbandale.  Upon entering the restaurant side it was a small quaint looking restaurant.  We seated ourselves, and our waitress promptly took our drink orders.  They had a huge dessert case with several different pies, brownies and cakes inside.  Although I did not try one, I am pretty sure I will come back sometime and try one…ok, two.  The waitress was pretty good.   She was friendly and was prompt with her service.  Appetizers came out quickly, and timing on the food was perfect.  She did a pretty decent job, but should familiarize herself with the menu better.  SERVICE 2.0 stars.

We started our experience as we often do…by asking the waitress several questions about the menu.  She stated that they hand dipped their onion rings, mushrooms and pickles.  There were also several signs out front for their New Mexican food.  I ordered some of the “mucho nachos” for the group to share.  The order was far from “mucho” and I really had more issues with it than you have time to read.  The chips were stale, and not just a little.  They were VERY stale.  I specifically asked the waitress what kind of cheese came on it, and she said shredded, but they could put a sauce on it if desired.  I told her I did not want the processed cheese sauce, and FOT even made a joke of my lack of love for the processed cheese.  The order arrived smothered with processed cheese, with a very small amount of shredded cheese on it.  There was a ton of refried beans and very little meat.  It came with a side of sour cream and salsa.  The salsa was house made, but should not be made in any house.  Of the four of us that dined we all could taste a very distinct beer taste in the salsa, and no you could never slip beer past me without me noticing…just saying.  Anyway, the beer did not work.  It turned into a carbonated salsa, with a bad aftertaste. No, I will not be ordering this again.

For an entrée I tried to play it safe and ordered “The Core club” with fries $7.99.  Even though it was made with basic deli turkey, and a honey ham it was a very good club.  It came on three pieces of Texas toast with good bacon.  I will say that I think the key to a good club is to not over cook the toast.  If is over cooked it makes a good sandwich taste dry.  This particular sandwich was toasted perfectly.  The fries were nothing special.  They were a basic crinkle cut that were average.  FOOD 2.5 stars

Overall, this is another place that had its positives and negatives.  Again, after the first impression of the desserts I was pretty excited about trying the food, and the club was good, but they could remove the Mexican food from the menu and it would not bother me.  Their chips were beyond stale, and that is a big disappointment when it comes to a $8.99 appetizer.  OVERALL 2.25 stars

The Apple Core Café in Level Park (Urbandale) is a business that seems to fly under the radar as it is sort of out of the way, but has been there for years, recently adding an ice cream stand as well.  The menu contained more than I expected.  I ended up ordering the onion ring appetizer and a grilled chicken wrap for my entrée.  The chicken wrap came with homemade potato chips.  The onion rings get good points for being hand cut and dipped. They were over-done, however.  The main meal arrived and the chicken wrap was excellent.  Could have used some more chicken but the flavor was good and the ingredients were fresh.  The homemade chips are a nice twist, but they didn't have much flavor to them.  Food gets 3 out of 5 stars.

Service was good.  While I was a little leery due to there only being 1 waitress for the entire place, she was very competent and did not forget things, was frequent on the refills, etc.  Service gets 3.5 out of 5 stars. 

Overall was a 3.25 star rating.  I would go back again and would definitely like to try some of the desserts which are homemade as well.

TFOT

Player's Bar and Grill

Today’s adventure takes us a bit further down the road than usual.  We dined at the Players Club in Augusta.  First impressions were average.  The décor was very similar to that of any other bar, dive, or grille we have eaten at.  To be honest it reminded me of Moonraker east with the video games and .25 cent machines that your kids drive you crazy because the MUST HAVE the toy out of it only to lose or break it before you leave the restaurant.

Service was good.  I was more than impressed with the waitress and her timeliness and refills.  She did a wonderful job of taking orders and got everything correct.  Too often people forget the importance of wait staff and the impression they can leave on a customer.  SERVICE 3.5 stars

For an appetizer I shared an order of wings with “FOT.”  We shared the 12 wings because that was the minimum order that could be made in order to get two different sauces.  Although the wings were a breaded, frozen wing they were good.  Upon asking we discovered that all the wing sauces were made at the establishment.  I tried the Kentucky Bourbon sauce.  It was good, but sweet for my taste.  I will give them some credit though they did inspire me to tinker with a bourbon baked bean recipe, and also a bourbon barbeque sauce over the next several days.  (Which was good, but needs some tweaking of it own)

For my entrée I had a Spicy bacon burger with hot pepper bacon and pepper jack cheese.  It came with a pile of fresh made curly fries.  The food was average though.  The burger was a hand made patty that was made fresh and would have been good, but tasted like the cook dumped a container of garlic powder on it.  There was definitely something wrong with it as the flavor followed me for several hours after leaving the establishment.  The hot pepper bacon was good, and did not over-power the rest of the burger (although I wished it would have).  The bun was excellent!!!  It was fresh and you could tell it was made either on-site or at a local bakery.  The hand cut curly fries were a good touch, but in my opinion the only was to cook fresh fries is to double fry them.  These were not and got a little soggy or rubbery which is what happens if you only cook them once. FOOD 2 stars

Overall, I wanted to like this place a lot.  It had a lot of positives with both the waiting staff and the food especially since they were taking the extra effort to make things themselves instead of buying the premade frozen substitutes.  There are several negatives, but they could be corrected relatively easy.  The Players’ Club Grille is headed in the right direction, but still needs some tweaking.  OVERALL 2.5 stars

~TFM~

The Players Grill in Augusta is a sports bar that I had been to once prior several years ago.  I don't remember what I ate or how the experience was so I thought it would be good for our weekly foray.

The menu has lots of interesting choices.  I ended up going with the Whiskey River Chicken Sandwich and ordered a side of Teriyaki chicken wings.  The wings were good, not stupendous, but were not your typical breaded and dipped variety.  They were what I consider to be real wings, no batter, just good meat and flavor.  The sandwich wasn't bad but not exactly impressive.  Made with a homemade Whiskey River Bar-B-Q sauce, it was good but I wouldn't order it again.  Fries were good, not the typical frozen type.  Food gets 3 out of 5 stars from me.

Service was great.  The waitress was courteous, prompt and competent.  She seemed familiar with the menu and answered any questions we had regarding ingredients. She even laughed at the lame jokes the midget and fat Mexican were dishing out.  Service gets 3.75 stars from me

Overall a 3.5 rating from me and I would go back again for sure.

TFOT

Bill's Pizza Factory

This week our adventures take us to Bill’s Pizza Factory in Battle Creek.  The building is a little hard to find, but in my opinion is worth a visit.  This establishment also had a Bill’s Hot Dog Factory inside, that was open at different hours.  The establishment is clean, and open.  The waitress was friendly, but it should be noted that you get your own refills, so there should not be any complaints about waiting too long for refills.  We are fat and like to eat, but are not lazy.  Service 3 Stars (There was not much to rate her on)

I ordered a medium Rajin Cajun Pizza which had Spicy Cajun Sauce, Onions, Jalapenos, Banana Peppers, Green Peppers with Chicken and Cheese Blend.  I split it with FBB for half of his Italian sausage stromboli (which was their version of a calzone).  Both were very good, but I enjoyed the pizza more.  It had great spice, and excellent flavor.  The jalapeños were not over-powering but simply added to the layers of flavor.  The stromboli was good and had a good mixture of meat, onions and peppers.  I would have liked the stromboli better had it been hot (temperature), but it was simply warm which took away from the overall flavor.  It was good food, and I would definitely recommend people at least trying it.  Overall 3 stars

~TFM~

We set out to Bills Pizza Factory out by the airport.  Upon entering the establishment you immediately notice a clean and very cool motif.  They had street signs with all the local city’s names on them.  The floor was painted to look like a parking lot and in true Battle Creek fashion the represented the city with car, hot air balloon and plane décor.

The menu at this particular establishment contained items ranging from Pizza to hot dogs.  They also carried grinder type sandwiches and calzones.  On this particular day I tried RAGIN CAJUN PIZZA: Spicy Cajun Sauce, Onions, Jalapenos, Banana Peppers, Green Peppers with Chicken or Spicy Sausage and Cheese Blend; Medium $12.99;   Large $14.99;   Ex-Large $16.99 and the Italian sausage Calzone.  Both of these items were served in large portions.  The pizza was well flavored and when they say spicy they mean it.  The spiciness of the pizza came from the jalapeños that were full of seeds, as we all know that is where the jalapeños get their bite. This would definitely be the item to get if you are having sinus issues on that particular day.  As for the calzone bring your appetite because it is large like I had mentioned and it comes loaded.  The crust was good but nothing special but overall they do a good job at preparing this item.  The drinks were self serve, which eliminated the issue of having your drink go empty.
It should be noted that service was iffy.  It did take a long time to get our food so allow your self at minimum of an hour.  There was only one server that day and she was also cashing people out.  So service does not score that well.
Overall:  Good place for lunch at a decent price.     Food = 3 stars        Service = 2
FBB

Bill’s Pizza Factory located across the street from Kellogg Airport.  Upon arrival, we were greeted by friendly staff and were directed to takes seats where ever we liked.  Service was prompt in taking our orders and getting our orders to the table however the fountain drinks were self serve.  The décor was local area street signs of towns near by and was done tastefully.  The club grinder I ordered was plentiful in size but of average flavor. The detractor to my meal was that my grinder was not warmed all the way through.  Service 2.5 stars.  Food  2.5 stars.

Biggin

The Pizza Parlor

Today’s adventure takes us to The Pizza Parlor located in Urbandale, MI.  Upon arriving we were greeted after walking through the door.  The greeter pointed to a table for six (as we had an added guest on this occasion).  Shortly after being seated our waitress took out drink orders and asked us if we wanted the buffet or menus.  To her surprise five of us opted for the menus…fat guys not eating at the all-you-can-eat pizza buffet must have been a relief for the cook.  As we looked through the menu I could not help but notice the décor.  It was a bit out dated and slightly confusing.  The place mates had Italy on them and gave the impression of an Italian restaurant, but the walls had old vinyl records and various decorations on them.  The menu however was almost half Mexican food.  Again, another restaurant having an identity crisis!!!  How many must this town have?

I placed my order for their Mexican sampler platter as I was told they had pretty good Mexican food.  As we waited for our food we engaged in conversation and watched the Detroit Tigers game that was being played on the establishments two very small and very old televisions.  The game was just starting and the Tigers were losing.  I reference the game because it was not until the 4^th inning that our food arrived….50 minutes.  Now for someone who has a lunch hour, and drove 10 minutes to get to the establishment I must admit that this did not settle well with me.  The waitress was ok, but spacey and rarely checked for refills.  If we were lucky enough to be graced with her presence she would simply ask one person at the table if they needed a refill as she had some pretty bad tunnel vision.  When she would turn to walk away the rest of us would ask for ours.  No, we were not being rude, just simply allowing her the opportunity to service the rest of the table, but she never did.  SERVICE 1.5 stars.

When the food arrived I was pleasantly surprised by the huge portions.  I opted for chicken, and had two chicken tacos, a mini chicken burrito, and a small order of chicken nachos.  The food was more than filling, and they did give you choices of two different kinds of cheese sauce (processed) or shredded cheese.  Obviously if you follow us much you will know I opted for the shredded cheese.  The food was average, but I must say I was disappointed in the flavor.  The chicken looked like it had been seasoned well, but the flavor told a whole different story.  It was rather bland.  The nachos were also average for me.  They were covered in cheese (probably more than what was needed for a good nacho), but again the main attraction the chicken was bland.  FOOD 2 stars

Overall I would say the Pizza Parlor was “just ok” for me.  We have tried far worse food, and had a few worse servers.  Definitely not somewhere you would want to go on your lunch hour.  The food was ok, but nothing I would write home about.  OVERALL 1.75 stars

~TFM~

Our weekly trip brought us to the Pizza Parlor in Level Park.  The business has been there for many years. It's a fairly simple and plain building, inside and outside.  I've eaten there several times over the years and have never really been impressed, and this trip was no exception.  I ordered the all you can eat salad and pizza bar.  I say all you can eat, but it was all you can eat if the waitress decides to see if you need another plate.  The waitress has to bring you your plate, they don't have a stack of plates at the bar itself.  Our waitress was pretty young and while she was nice enough, she was not suzy-on-the-spot with the refills and was gone for long periods of time.  The food itself was slow to come out, taking almost 45 minutes or so to come out.  It appears they may need some more staff on during lunch rush.  Service receives 1.5 stars out of 5 from me.

The salad bar was very small, having only about a dozen items to choose from, but it was fresh enough.  The pizza bar had about 4 pizzas to choose from.  While I do enjoy thin crust on pizza, the pizza was boring and uninspired consisting of basic toppings that were rather bland and flavorless.  I give my food 1.5 out of 5 stars and I would not eat the salad/pizza bar again. 

Overall, I would be very hesitant to eat there again as I have never left that restaurant telling myself I had a great, fulfilling meal.  Overall, I give it 1.5 stars out of 5.

*TFOT*

To make this short and sweet, I’ll get right to it.  The server was very nice but just as slow.  My glass sat empty for a solid 20 minutes.  I also had the Sampler but with beef and I must say it more than filled me up but the flavor was just average.  The 45 minute wait for our food was not acceptable when you’re on lunch break. Service 1.5 stars Food 2.5 stars.

Biggin

On 05/22/2012 we set our course for the Pizza Parlor in Battle Creek.  This is a place that came recommended by a fat guy supporter.  Let me tell you this I will never take advise from this person again and this is why:  Upon arriving at the Parlor you start to think “Hey, this may not be so bad”, but within minutes I was kicking my self for jumping the gun.  The place was dingy at best as décor goes and would be the last place to go watch a ball game unless you plan on bringing bino’s to see the 19” TV mounted in the corner.

Enough of décor, lets talk about service and food.  The service was done by what appeared to be a sole waitress(whom we saw maybe twice) and the cooking by one middle aged man who in his mid life crises must have decided to give up his job in insurance sales to fulfill his life long dream of running a pizza joint.  I hope he has insurance on this place because the wait for the food to come out of the kitchen is so long that a fat man could die of starvation before the food hits the table(seriously you better plan on at least a hour and a half).  As for the food, well it was served in jumbo portions, which is always good for a fat guy.  However, it would help if the food was even half decent.  Tip:   You can not make up for quality of food by piling more of it on a plate.  Example:  I got the Philly Calzone and it appears to be a large pizza folded in half.  It had sliced beef, cheese, onions, peppers and a philly sauce.  The problem was I found plenty of the cheese, some beef mixed in, with minimal peppers, onions or sauce.  I believe this could have been an alright dish if the cook balanced his ingredients out.  But unfortunately it would appear that would be the smallest of his problems as you can tell from the other fat guys.  That is why I give this place the following:

FOOD: 1.5 stars
SERVICE: 1

FBB

Irish Pub (North Ave)

As we seek to serve the people of Calhoun County in there search for quality dining experiences, this week took us to the Irish Pub in Battle Creek.  As we entered the establishment I noticed two things.  The first was a sign that referenced that place as a DrinkEatery.  I am not sure what that is, but was slightly disturbed altogether.  The second thing that I noticed was the huge IRISH PUB sign on the wall, which was apparently just their for decoration as it had nothing to do with this establishment.  The waitress was prompt and took our drink orders and brought us our menus.  After filling our drink orders she went back and sat at the bar and waited for us to make our selection.  As I perused the menu I noticed something very disturbing.  For an “Irish Pub” there was a severe lack of Irish food on the menu other than a Reuben and Corned Beef sandwich.   Where was the fish n chips, Shepherd’s pie, Beer brazed short ribs, lamb, mutton, or give me some Irish beer battered anything.  Instead their specialty at an Irish Pub was a wet burrito?  Already disappointed all around I ordered their “specialty.”  Overall I was simply confused by the décor as none of it had anything to do with Ireland (other than some golf pictures, which is funny as golf originated in Scotland, not Ireland).  While waiting our waitress decided that since four of us ordered water it would be  less strain on her to actually o her job if she just dropped off a pitcher of water at the table and go back to the bar a sit.  Seriously?!??!  It is not that hard, and you were only serving two tables.  SERVICE 1.5 stars.

Our food arrived and I was eagerly anticipating trying their “specialty” which was $9.25.  The wet burrito was filled with beans and meat, topped with melted cheese and warm salsa.  It also had lettuce, sour cream and black olives on it.  It was far from “special.”  The beans inside were dry, and the meat would have tasted better had they ground up my shoe and used it.  It was served with a side of tortilla chips, which I thought was an excellent idea, but again execution fell way short as the chips were stale and really inedible.

ATTTENTION ALL RESTUARANTERS:  1. If you put something on your menu and reference it as your “specialty” make it worth your customers time.  2. If you only serve “bar” food, then don’t call yourself an Irish Bar.  The term Irish Bar brings with it certain expectations…Like being IRISH!!!! 

Sadly, I may have gotten the best of the deal since this is their “specialty” I really would have hated everything else.  Food was sub-par.  I will say that I did try an onion ring from the sampler platter and everything on the plate looked as it was just your ordinary frozen appetizers.  In fact, they advertised the Onion Rings and Mushrooms as Brew City which meant they were simply out of the freezer.  To be honest we could have gotten the same food from a bowling alley, and would have paid less for it.  FOOD 1 star.

Overall 1.25 stars, and no I will not be returning.  The hard part is we have eaten here before for their St. Patty’s day lunch which is pretty good, yet none of the items were on their menu. 

~TFM~ ~~~Although this week I am a Confused Fat Mexican.

An expedition to the Irish Pub was conducted today by a group of fit, attractive studs.  And when these guys left, your heroes, the 4 fatties and a midget showed up for their meal.  The Irish Pub has been around for a long time but this patron had never eaten there before.  The parking lot looks like it was transplanted from Chernobyl, but the interior of the restaurant was nice, if not a little dated, and is actually larger than it seems from the outside.  We were seated by a hostess who gave us our initial drinks before our waitress arrived.  The waitress was friendly and returned to our table several times for refills and to ask how things were or if we needed anything.  She also did not screw up anything.  3.25 out of 5 stars on service.

The food was decent.  I ordered the chicken strip basket.  5 pieces of chicken which also comes with steak fries and cole slaw for $8.95 plus tax.  A bit pricey for a basket, but they have a 3 piece basket with the same sides for several dollars less.  The chicken was good, not overly done or dry.  It's hard not to screw chicken strips up however.  The French fries were good.  You can tell they are not home made, but they were larger steak fries and were cooked well, crispy on the outside and soft on the inside.  The cole slaw was home made.  I thought it was a bit too strong on the vinegar side, and I prefer smaller cut vegetables in it, but it wasn't bad.  To be honest though, I though Kentucky Fried Chicken's cole slaw was better.  I also sampled an onion ring and a mozzarella cheese stick from the sampler platter.  They were both good, but you can tell the restaurant uses lots of pre-made or frozen items.  Food gets 2.75 out of 5 stars.

Overall, the Irish Pub gets 3 stars out of 5.  I would definitely eat there again.  I would like to try some of the other items on their menu.  While their menu was not massive, it was large enough and had plenty of options.

TFOT

Today’s lunch time excursion took us to the Irish Pub in Battle Creek.  We arrived at noon and the place was not that busy.  The wait staff was friendly and witty however during the course of our meal, our waitress reached across the table several times rather than walk around the table to serve.  Also the waitress left a pitcher of water at the table rather than fill our glasses. I ordered the shaved steak sandwich and the sampler platter for the table.  I will say that the food was Bar food, and since I was in a Pub, I guess I cannot really complain to much but an Irish Pub should have some Irish food other than a Ruben sandwich or corned beef sandwich.  The food was bar average at best but was a bit bland. 1.5 stars around.

Biggin

Alright today is that glorious day again of trying all the food that Battle Creek has to offer.  All I have to say after today’s lunch is are we there yet?  Have we eaten at all the crappy places in this town?  Because I am not sure how much more of this my stomach can take.  I feel(not look) like one of those marathon runners that gets so far into the race a hits a brick wall, feeling as if they can not go any farther.  My stomach is crying for help and my digestive system is asking for a break.  But I must push on, I can not stop now knowing that what I do is for the sake of all local humanity.  But you have to wonder, is there no humility.  How can these places continue to serve up food that is not fit for consumption? 

Anyway lets get to it.  Today we went to the Irish Pub in Battle Creek, never mind the exact address you will not need it.  Upon pulling into the parking lot you see a run down un-kept establishment.  This place has not been updated since the date that it was built, which I am guessing was some time in the late 60’s early 70’s based on the décor.  This place was covered in wall paper that was peeling, the ceiling was dingy, and the place just was not clean.  But hey they will sell you a sports print off of there wall for $45.00.

As for the food I ordered the Turkey Club.  To sum it up it was a sub par club, there was just nothing that stood out on this sandwich that cost me about $8.25 and the fries that came with it were steak fries but once again nothing special.  The club had ample meat, but was dry.  The real crazy thing is I looked at the dinner menu which had items ranging close to $20.00.  I tell you one thing if I am spending $20.00 on a meal it is going to be place that I have some confidence in what type of meat is actually being used to prepare the dish.  I have to say that I called this as soon as I saw the place.  Words of advice; fresh paint, new flooring, and fresh ingredients go a long way.

BREAKING NEWS:  I have just been told that they have a martini bar down stairs.  What?????  I am not sure that being under a structure that looks like that is a safe place to be and I am darn sure they do not know what a martini is.

Ok, lets get to the service.  Service was once again sub par.  The server dropped off a pitcher of water at the table.  We would not want you to walk the ten feet to the table to fill our glasses and I was told by one of the other fatties that it was so exhausting for this server she had to sit at the bar.  Oh my goodness, it is your job, do it that is what the tip is for.

Funny note:  TFM ordered the burrito, as he has the most experience with south of the border cuisine.

Here is the breakdown:

FOOD:  1.5 stars

SERVICE:  2.00 stars

OVERALL: 1.75 stars

FBAB

Addington Hills

Oh crap, I knew this would eventually come to pass.  Someone finally got a brilliant idea and has selected a healthier option for our lunch destination.  Who the heck was this genius?  You guessed it, the only semi healthy person in the group.  That little b……!  Just because someone is watching their waste line so they can fit into that skirt they keep hidden in their closet, I have to suffer, what is this world coming to?  Do they not realize that a person’s body can go into shock when you suddenly introduce healthy food into a diet that has consisted of only fried food for so long.  Alright let’s get serious and talk about food.  Well on this excursion we set out to Addington Hills Café at 295 East Emmett.  This café is situated right underneath a flower shop at that location.   I have to say that it was not at all what I was expecting.  The décor within this establishment is what would be expected of tea or coffee house, with bright colors but dim lighting.  It is somewhat small but did not appear to be bustling during the lunch hour.  There menu consisted of salads, sandwiches, soups, wraps and cheesecake or cake for desert.  As for what I ordered, I got a mug of buffalo chicken soup ($2.99) and the baja chicken sandwich which came with a table spoon or so of pasta ($8.29).  The soup ordered was a decent soup but nothing spectacular, I thought that it should have more bite to it for a buffalo soup.  As for the sandwich, I thought it was definitely quality sandwich.  It was actually a Panini with Grilled chicken, crisp bacon, avocado, pepper jack cheese and chipotle mayonnaise on focaccia bread.  The sandwich is larger than those served at Panera Bread and overall may have just been better than my favorite sandwich from there, the frontega chicken sandwich.  As for the pasta salad, I thought that it was the good standard pasta salad, however, I feel as though if you are providing a staple food such as pasta salad you should do something to make that dish your own.

Overall:  Food:  3.75 Stars : Was good and did not disappoint.  I was pleased with the selection.

             Service:  4 Stars:  Service was prompt and above average but that is not hard in that type of establishment.

FBAB

Heading out for our adventure is was hard not to notice that we were a bit under weight. The Fat Redhead could not make the trip this week, and the shocks on my car thank him.  Apparently he was placed on restrictions and told he could only go to and from work, but let’s not open that can of worms.  We allowed the “wee one” to choose this week, as we were tired of hearing “pick me, pick me” over and over again (insert Shrek and Donkey joke here).  In his infinite desire to loose weight he chose Addington Hills on

Emmett St.

in Battle Creek.  I will not lie I was a bit surprised when we entered.  We came in through the Flower shop upstairs.  It was full of flower garden figurines, and other collectibles.  Overall, it had a very elegant atmosphere.  As we went downstairs we were greeted by a hostess who took us to our table.  I could not help but notice we were the only males in the Café and they tended to a much classier clientele than we were used too.  It did cross my mind that I had accidentally joined the Red Hat Society.   It definitely had an upscale coffee house feel to the place.

It did not take long for us to remember our comrade we left behind when we observed that they carried his favorite Coke beverage MelloYello.  The waitress was prompt and informative.  She was timely with refills, and gave the specials and desserts from memory.  SERVICE 3.5 stars.

I started with a Buffalo Chicken soup, as I absolutely love spicy food.  The soup was good, but not what I expected.  It had potatoes, and carrots, and greens in it along with the chicken, but for me it simply missed the mark as it lacked spice and tasted like they tried to force the hot sauce on the soup rather than letting it meld properly.  Great idea, but poor execution…Soup $2.99.  As an entree I had a Buffalo Chicken and Bleu wrap (yeah, I like spicy food) which was $7.59.  I must say, this was the best wrap I have had in a long time.  What an excellent blend of greens, chicken and bleu cheese.  The wrap had a more than generous portion of bleu cheese in it.  The bleu cheese along with the buffalo sauce were the dominate flavors.  It was served with a side of pasta salad, and the only bad thing I can say about the pasta salad it that there wasn’t enough of it.  It had a very distinct parmesan cheese flavor, but was very creamy.  I could have made a meal out of the pasta salad alone.  FOOD 4 stars (brought down by the soup)

After eating my lunch I sat in reflection and realized I had eaten an entire meal without consuming any fried food.  I started to sweat and realized I was going through grease withdrawal.  It has been a long time since I have had one, but that is definitely what I was experiencing.  In a panic I summoned the waitress and had her bring me a dessert, as to calm down my current state of panic.  She brought me a piece of Hazelnut mocha cake.  I was good and did a good job of calming me down.  The cake itself was a three layered cake and was very dense.  It was somewhat of a mix between cake and shortbread, but not overly dry.  Between teach layer of cake was a thick layer of fudge, and had a hazelnut frosting with crushed hazelnuts along the base of the cake. All in all, the cake was good, but not worth the $6.00 price tag, but hey it did the job and very well may have saved my life.

OVERALL 3.75 stars.  Pricing was comparable, but the dessert was over-priced.  The service was good, and overall I would be willing to return (but they need more fried food to prevent future catastrophes).

~TFM~

Well let’s start off by saying the atmosphere was that of a place you would take someone special’ Very nice. That being said, the 4 fatties and a midget minus one fatty, rolled in and was seated immediately by very friendly staff. The mood music was nice and was at the perfect volume.  Our orders were taken promptly and the food was served promptly.  What more could you ask for? I ordered the days special, Philly panini with pasta salad.  The Philly was very good and well seasoned with great flavor.  The pasta salad was very good as well.  It’s hard to say anything negative about Addington Hills Café but if I had to find something, it would be the portion of the pasta salad.  To me, the portion was but a taste to tease you with and should have been doubled if not tripled.  I didn’t leave hungry as the sandwich was satisfying but come on, Don’t Tease with the pasta please.

Service- 5 stars

Food 4.5 stars

Biggin

We went to a fancy sandwich/salad place.  I had a chicken salad which was good, but not what i expected.  I anticipated a grilled piece of chicken on a salad, but got chicken salad on a salad.  guess it would help if i was tall enough to reach the menu instead of having the bald freak read it to me.  I also had a piece of chocolate cheesecake (so much for watching my figure...if i don't be careful i will end up looking like the rest of these fatties)  the salad was good, but the chicken salad was bland.  I did enjoy the dried cherries and walnuts.  The cheesecake was insanely rich.  I was soo hyper the rest of the day that  I hit my head several times on the bottom of my desk trying to jump into my char.  Anyway it was good, and i will go back.

tvc

The Hunt Club

The adventure continues.   This time it was FBB turn to choose, and he decided on The Hunt Club on

Columbia Ave.

   This restaurant has changed ownership a couple of times, but it was not hard to figure out who owns it now.  The Atmosphere was nice.  Some of the other areas were shut down due to a lack of business, but it had a decent restaurant vibe.  Unfortunately, that is where the positives ended.  Previously known as a quality restaurant in town, I was surprised when we walked in and were told to “pick a table.”  Having 5 members makes it somewhat difficult to find somewhere to sit, but we made the best of it.  Upon sitting down we looked at some of the specials and immediately noticed all of the small menus on the table said “Moonraker West.”  The menu said Hunt Club, but was identical to the Moonraker previously visited.  It was like witnessing an identity crisis.

 A waitress told us our server would be with us shortly, and she did eventually come out of the kitchen area and take our drink orders.  Now, when you only have one table you would think they would work hard for their tip, but this waitress did not.  In fact, she barely even tried.  After refilling two peoples drinks she basically gave up and brought a pitcher to the table and stated, “I can’t keep up.”  We had been there for 10 minutes and had already put in our order and we were her only table.  What else did she have to do?  She wrote down all five orders, and then messed them up.  Then, after bringing us our food, says “I owe you guys a ketchup.  I will be right back.”  She then goes back to the kitchen.  After five minutes I asked the table next to us for their ketchup.  Later, when she returned she did not have the ketchup, but was there to clear plates.  This leads me to another issue, servers….Make your presence known!!!  Don’t stand next to the table, but make an effort you will be the one who gains (financially) in the long run.  By far the worst waitress we have experienced so far.  SERVICE 1 star.

As always we fatties porked up some on the appetizers.  We had an order of onion rings, and deep fried pickle spears.  I must say personally I liked the onion rings from the Moonraker better which is weird as they should have been the same.  The dill pickle spears were your basic out of the box breaded pickles…nothing special.

I had the turkey club and sweet potato fries for my meal.  The Club was ok, definitely not the best I have ever eaten.  Turkey was your basic out of the package lunch meat.  Bacon was forgettable, and the bread was over toasted.  The sweet potato fries were well below average.  They were small, and soggy.  I could not find a crisp one in the entire bunch.  I left this place disappointed.  Not only for the Hunt Club, but also, for the Moonraker.  I hope we did not just have an accidental good experience at the Moonraker.

This owner needs to take a stand.  Hunt Club is set up to be a restaurant, and Moonraker is more of a  bar.  They have different atmospheres, and require different menus.  Otherwise, the Hunt Club is in its last days. FOOD 1.5 stars

TOTAL: 1.25 stars

~TFM~

So I am sitting here and had a rather peculiar thought. Have you ever wondered by sumo wrestler ware those big diapers?  Well these four sumo's found out exactly why after our last adventure, boy those giant diapers would have came in handy.  Good thing we keep a rather large stock of napkins handy.  Relax, I'm kidding.

Anyway back to the serious discussion of food.  This week I got to choose where we were going to go and off of my enormous list of places to eat in the area, I chose The Hunt Club or was it The Moonraker?  I am not quite sure as the building and sign say Hunt Club while the stuff on the table said The Moonraker, along with a menu nearly identical to The Moonraker.  The owner seems a bit confused or torn.  Let me give a tip "JUST DECIDE", I would not have picked The Hunt Club if I would have known it is The Moonraker in a newer building.  Plus to say it is The Moonraker is a little deceiving because this experience does not even come close to the good experience I had at The Moonraker.  It is important to note that these two establishments are believed to be owned by the same individual.  Which makes you wonder why have two establishments that serve the same cuisine in the same area.  Dude, you are splitting business with yourself.  Well anyway.

This time I ordered the nachos.  The positive of this experience was, you guessed it; no processed cheese.  However, the nachos were soaked in grease and instead of being loosely placed on the plate they were a cheese glued slab of chips.  I was not impressed.  You should be able to pull your chips apart if the nachos are done correctly, you should not have to cut them and eat them with a fork.

FOOD: 2.5 Stars

Now on to the service.  I do not know what happened at this location, because the service at Moonrakers was good.  This waitress appeared to not like her job.  She did get us the correct drinks, but then decided coming to the table to give refills was too much work so she slapped a pitcher on the table saying she can not keep up.  Obviously she was not joking as she also messed up one of the orders and then forgot to bring the ketchup.  The crazy thing is we were her only table.  Also when it came time to divide the checks she put the wrong items on my receipt. I will give her the benefit of the doubt and write it off as a bad day, at least I hope that is all it was.  Either way I will not be returning to this establishment, I would rather just go to The Moonraker. 

Service: 1.5 Stars

Overall:  The owner should make up his mind.  People like to know where they are eating so you need to have one name not two.  Also if you are going to have two establishments this close to each other you should offer something different at one of the locations.  Either way that is just good business.  As for the food and service way below par.  Sorry guys this is not a winner.

OVERALL: 2 Stars

FBB

Well, the atmosphere was nice and I was able to carry on conversation with all those at our table. In fact we were able to converse with the persons at the next table as well and it’s a good thing because we received better service from the patrons at the next table as we had to borrow their ketchup.  There were only 4 tables being served in the place and our server had just our table. The server spent more time in the kitchen doing who knows what rather than being out on the floor. I ordered the walleye sandwich and waffle fries and asked for shredded cheddar cheese on the fries.  What came to the table was a walleye fish sandwich with cheddar cheese on the walleye fillet and regular french fries.  The server was told of the error and she stated that she must have miss understood my order.  Who puts cheddar cheese on a walleye fillet?  All the persons at our table understood my order and relayed to me that my order was clear and simple to understand. The waitress stated she would take care of it but when she returned she had plain waffle fries. I gave up. The Walleye sandwich was a bit over done. I just made the best I could of the situation as our lunch time is limited. I will not return.

Rating: 1 star and that was for the atmosphere.

Biggin.   

I had a jalapeño Burger with pepper jack cheese, and jalapeños on it, with regular fries.  It was ok, but the layer of jalapeños was thicker than the burger.  Made for more jalapeños than I was looking for.  

TVC

This week's foray out of the office (or out of the closet if you are the fat Mexican) brings us to the Hunt Club in Battle Creek.  The business has had a run of tough luck and is under new ownership now.  From what I understand, the owners of the Moonraker also run the Hunt Club now, which explains why their menus are very similar.  The restaurant looks very nice on the inside and out. It wasn't very busy when we arrived at lunch time.  We seated ourselves and had a younger waitress that didn't seem the most competent.  She had made some mistakes with some of the meals other members of our party ordered.  She then proceeded to compound this by denying her mistake (which anyone in food service knows is a no-no, even if the customer is wrong).  I did not have any problems with my meal so I tipped her rather generously, but I know that her tip suffered from everyone else.  She was not around very much either.  Service receives 2 out of 5 stars.

I ordered the chicken nachos with a side of onion rings.  While the onion rings were good, they were not as good as the Moonraker's onion rings, which is ironic as I'm pretty sure they are the same onion rings.  The difference appeared to be the preparation, with the Hunt Club onion rings suffering from overcooking.  The nachos were dry, not very much cheese on them and the chicken was very sparse.  The sour cream and salsa served with the nachos was not sufficient to cover the entire plate.  I was not impressed; I honestly felt I've made better nachos at home.  Food gets 2.5 out of 5 stars.

Overall, I wouldn't go back other than to visit the place for the purposes of their bar, which look well-stocked.  Overall score was 2.25 stars out of 5.

TFR/TFOT

McGonigles Irish Pub

On this adventure of Diary of a Fat Guy, your favorite fatties are once again found in a rather peculiar spot, surrounded by food containing enough grams of fat and calories to kill a small army.  So what will your heroes do?  Well, they will do what they have done time and time again; they will eat their way out.  Stay tuned to find out there fate.

On 04/26/2012 we loaded up the vehicles (alright overloaded them) and made our way to McGonigles Pub 915 Emmett St E, Battle Creek, MI.  At first sight nothing seemed to be amidst the décor was what to be expected of a small Irish pub.  Once seated and after several pain staking minutes I had made my decision.  I would get into character as a true Irish man and order the fish and chips.  This is a brave decision I must say, as when it comes to fish if it is bad you will know it in a flush, oh! My bad, I mean flash.  Well anyway the fish was edible I thought, I mean I did eat it (I’m not wasting money) with some malt vinegar and the fries they seemed to be done well.  However, the tartar sauce that came with the fish tasted strange and was very dilly, but I must admit I am not a tartar sauce fan because if the fish is done correctly you will not need it.  I do have to say that they have a rather creative menu featuring a THREE POUND BURGER for $20.00.  Food: 2.5 Stars

Now, on to the service.  The service at this location was actually good.  Beverages were kept full and the food came at without haste.  The server was pleasant and even laughed at some lame jokes provided by my dining comrades.   Service: 4 Stars

Overall:  The service was above average and was quite a surprise.  However, the food was a let down after seeing the menu.  The food though it had some good flavor, it lacked in digestive likeability if you understand what I am throwing at ya. I say this because all parties involved were left flipping coins for the use of the second office.  Once again we are left without the important service and food balance.  And the search goes on.

Overall: 3.25

Join use next time; the same fat channel, same fat place and same fat time as your heroes continue the search for edible food in unexpected places.

FBB

It’s Thursday (change of pace)!!!!  And yours truly gets to pick our gluttonous destination.  Although I had several destinations lined up it seemed appropriate to go to McGonigles on

Emmett St.

in Battle Creek.  McGonigles is one of the Irish Pubs in Battle Creek.  Upon entering it looked like you average pub.  The waitress seated our party of five at a round table, and did an excellent job of taking our orders.  She did not use a pad of paper or a ticket, but simply her memory and was spot on with the orders.  She was probably was not as personable as we have had in the past, but good.  SERVICE 3.5 stars.

As always we ordered a couple of appetizers.  Our mainstay the onion rings (fat guys are suckers for hand battered food), and we also tried the Texas cheese fries.  The onion rings were good, they had a good crust on them and were well executed.  The Texas chili cheese fries were huge.  They definitely lived up to the moniker that “things are bigger in Texas.”  They were good seasoned fries with house made chili, shredded Monterey Jack cheese, and scallions on top, served with a side of sour cream.  Overall I was very pleased with their appetizers.  It was bar food done right.

For my meal I had one of their new menu items called “The High Roller.”  It was built much like a club with sourdough bread on the bottom, followed by a half pound burger with pepper jack cheese on it.  It then had another slice of sourdough bread topped with Prime Rib roasted red peppers and onions, topped with Swiss cheese and another slice of sourdough bread.  It came with a huge order of fries.  This meal was more than enough for someone looking to “fill up.”  Unfortunately it did not live up to the name.  By the time the meal was over I felt more like a bottom dweller.  The meat to grease ratio was off the charts (which I did not think was possible for a fat guy), and the cook killed the prime rib.  Note to cook…the animal is already dead!!!!  No need to kill it again.  Prime rib should never be cooked well-done, let alone cooked to this extent.  In the end, I was left with an over-cooked greasy mess, that although was filling was far from meeting my expectations.  I must say I was sadly disappointed with the sandwich.  FOOD 2.5 stars (only because of the appetizers)

OVERALL: 3.0 STARS

~TFM~

I had the McGonigle Burger.  It was HUGE.   It was taller than me, and there was no way I could finish it.  The fries were good, and tasted “cheesy.”  I asked for a medium burger, and it came out medium rare.  Otherwise it was a pleasurable experience for this wee little leprechaun.

TVC

So the herd of fat guys' next stop was at McGonigles (formerly the Frog Pond) in Emmett Township.  The building itself seems sort of small and cramped, but the menu was interesting with plenty of choices.  Our waitress was excellent, remembered everything and kept the drink refills coming.  She was also a good sport and had a good sense of humor as she had to put up with a group of idiots like us.  Service was 4 out of 5 stars.

The food was very tasty.  I ordered the 2 chili dog combo which came with French fries and a pickle spear.  The fries were seasoned fries and were better than average.  The hot dogs were above average, but nothing special. However, the chili on them was very good, tasted home made and pushed the overall meal above average.  The food is very greasy, but then again I didn't order healthy food, I ordered friggin' chili dogs and French fries.  I give the food 3.25 stars out of 5. 

Overall rating by myself is 3.5 out of 5 and I would definitely eat there again.

-The Fat Opie Taylor